Top Ten things in Movies I wish I had

Ya, I know a little weak. But there are a million things being blogged about that are serious right now, that I don't feel the need to beat the horse anymore. I have been SO aggravated with society lately, that I won't be involved in the banter. This time, its just gonna be silliness. So, agree or not, here are things I wish I had that only exist (and mostly exist) in Movies:

10. Rodney Dangerfields Putter from Caddyshack.
Lets face it, my golf game sucks as it is. But my Achilles heel, toes arm and back is my short game. I have NONE to speak of. So this little bad ass would certainly save me at least 6-7 shots a hole. Bringing my overall score on any hole from a 15 to a 9, now that's an improvement. With a scope, "Laser" guidance and just general baddassery I think every self respecting terrible golfer would KILL for one of these in the bag. KISS MY ASS BILLY BAROU!


9. Bumblebee from Transformers.
UP YOUR GAS STATIONS. First, no gas RIGHT...RIGHT. Serious, this is a true HYBRID, eat your heart out HONDA CIVIC HYBRID. Not only do we not have to stop to get gas, we don't have to stop for ANYTHING, and get to look PRETTY bad ass doing it. Wouldn't it be the balls, driving down the highway, some asshole cuts you off and gives you the finger ...your pissed right. Well, that's were my little buddy Bumblee comes in and gives him the fingers, then kicks the hell out of the 1989 Dodge Avenger, with optional A/C. Your gonna need A/C when Bumblebee drops an ASS KICKING on you. EAT YOUR HEART OUT K.I.T.T.

8. Maxwell Smart's Phone booth.
Ok, I haven't worked out all the kinks on this one. Logistically it would be a nightmare to have it moved to where ever you need it, and SERIOUSLY to have the holes in the ground at all those spots would be difficult. But, lets look beyond that and to the fact that what better way to escape, from everything. Picture, if you will, walking down the street and DAMN here comes that PAIN IN THE ASS NEIGHBOR that just wants to talk to you about shit you could care less about. Well, step into your phone booth my friend and BUH-BYE. GONE. No more ridiculous conversation as to why the neighbor on the other side is not cutting his lawn short enough...therefore saving you from having to hide ANY bodies. Viola~

7. The Fedora from Indiana Jones.
Nothing more than the fact that I think I'd look BAD ASS in a Fedora!






6. Doc Browns DELOREAN from Back to the future
1.21 JIGGAHOTTTT, right. And the one from part 2, that has the Mr. Fusion on it. This is important because I can't find Plutonium ANYWHERE, and we all remember the difficulty in finding the lighting strike. I wouldn't use this for evil like Biff did, Doc would CERTAINLY not approve. But I think we all would change the little things. Would it not be great to alter just a FEW little things. Like, for instance, doing stupid things as a kid, asking someone out, car accidents, financial choices, TATTOO's etc. you get the point. I know we could all go back and MAKE ourselves rich, but seriously, everyone would do it and NOBODY would be rich...we'd all have as much money as the next person. So I wont Entertain it for a minute. And careers and people could be saved. You bust in to the movie studio just before Kevin Costner signs the WATERWORLD contract and save him from the worst downward spiral EVER. "STOP, Kevin..don't do it man. Field of Dreams 2 is the far better choice. Seriously put the pen down and step away from the FLOP". There are so many other people that could be saved, but honestly, don't we all somewhere just feel a LITTLE bad for Kevin.

5. Chewbacca and the Millennium Falcon.
Ok, who doesn't want this. Not only the fastest hunk of junk in the Galaxy, but a WOOKIE who owes a life debt to you!!! You can almost ALWAYS jump into light speed (except for the occasional sabotage), smuggling bay's, a bad ass cockpit, laser turrets and constantly outrunning imperial cruisers...I am SO in. Not to mention the hi jinx you and Chewy can get into...THE AWESOMENESS IS STRONG WITH THIS ONE!

.4 The "Ring" from he lord of the rings
Its kinda along the lines of the Get Smart Phone booth only more practical. I could have used this more as a teen, when I knew I was in trouble and my parents were coming and just before they arrived "BOOM" ring on and invisible. I am sure, there is that whole "hunger for power issue" but I think that issue is apparent with this whole list, so what the hell right. Even as an adult, you know this would come in handy. Sitting in the cubicle at work, day just started, your reading my blog and you can hear Bill Lumbergh (that's right an OFFICESPACE reference) and poof, invisible baby..and you could even snap his suspenders and he'd never no you were there....SWEET. Now right now don't picture the part where he is showing you his "O" face holding the coffee....TOO LATE.

.3 Red Sox season tickets from "Fever Pitch"
Ok, This may not be out of the realm of possibility. I mean season tickets are out there somewhere. But where the tickets were is the key. SECTION THIRTY, 10 or so rows back, about six or seven feet from the dugout. OH YES, the dream is there. These are the tickets that usually go to celeb's, politicians or other people who don't appreciate them enough. PLUS, free sponges from AL WATERMAN!!!!!! Take me out to the Mutha F*$kin Ball Game!

.2 The Force.
Not the Throat Choking, lightening throwing DARK SIDE. I am talking about good old fashion, Yoda Lovin' lightside. Again, I don't want the ability to choke people from afar, I want to reach the remote if it is more than 3 feet from me. SERIOUSLY, does it not seem there is a strange power in the universe that places your remote just far enough away that your would HAVE to get up from where you just sat down. Other applications, buying a car. Knowing EXACT bullshit the salesmen was tossing. "You don't need to check my credit, these are not the percentage rates we are looking for...cut a deal" and BOOM car at dealer cost (I don't condone stealing it for under its cost, that's JUST WRONG). Or, if you ACCIDENTALLY land the Millennium Falcon in a swamp and it sinks BOOM...grab that swampy bastard right out of there. too tired to play catch with the kids/dogs, you can play FORCE CATCH and keep them entertained while you sit on your ass....

.1 Brewsters Millions!!!!!
BECAUSE I HATE MY FUCKING JOB!