Is Your kid a LOSER???? Its your fault

One of the things that bothers me is that kids today don't know how to lose with class and dignity. How many times has a kid, who has never had to lose at a young age, get to high school or college and then GOES INSANE because they never learned that you don't ALWAYS WIN. Up until that point they have been coddled and been involved in games that EVERYONE WINS, except they don't win. They lost competitive spirit and drive and the ability to deal with rejection. TRUST ME I KNOW. As a chronic loser of dodge ball, The Fire Engine game, and duck duck goose at a young age, I learned that I had to toughen up and use my strengths. I honestly have carried that into my everyday life. Lets break it down and see what my problem was, and how I used it to my advantage later in life.

Dodge ball - Only the smart and slightly athletic shall survive.

I got my ass handed to me in dodge ball, from 1st grade until about 3rd grade. I just was not fast enough to dodge the ball that was thrown by a kid who has stayed back 4 years and is shaving in the 3rd grade. So, I changed my approach. Instead of trying dodge the ball, I went after the ball. I challenged that post pubescent freak and I started catching it right away and getting that overgrown bastard OUT. Accomplishing 2 things
a. He was out of the game early and no longer a threat.
b. I know had a ball, and it caused the other kids to run from me making it harder for them to hit me with a ball from a longer distance.

Now, I didn't win every game after figuring this out, but I lasted longer and longer as time wore on, and I did win a few.

Real Life Applications,

By learning to identify my weaknesses, and using them as strengths I learned over to over come my shortcomings and henceforth utilize me other strengths. I am not kidding, now I love a challenge and how I can adapt to succeed in something I am an not necessarily GREAT at.

The Fire Engine Game - The last one is out........game OVER

For those of you who don't know the fire engine game, here it is in brief. The class lines up against the gym wall. You then count off down the line in groups of four. So you now have kids wearing Velcro sneakers, tight jeans that are too short and a "My parents went to Hedonism and all I got was conceived" T-shirt, who have lost their identity and are now a number. So, the teacher would then yell "Fire Engine, Fire Engine Number (1,2,3,or4,). It was your job to use your sad imagination and run like hell to the other wall and NOT BE LAST or your out. This essentially simulated how the fire department operates I guess. So, I was not the fastest kid, probably because it was hard to run with my buck teeth causing wind resistance. I had to keep my mouth open since I had to make a Siren Noise with my mouth to mimic a Fire Engine on its way to a Fire. A fire that only the teacher could see, because I swear to this day she was drunk all the time, on the opposite wall of the gym. Also, if you ran when you number wasn't called, you are out of the game as well.

So I lost alot at first. Until I figured out that the teacher actually called the same pattern of number with regularity. I could almost predict when she was going to call my group. So, i had a decent first step which was important in a game of inches. Also, I would identify which kid in my group was slower and just keep staying in front of him no matter what.


Real Life Applications,

Being able to predict and react to a situation early, which in my chose profession is a good thing. Also, not "jumping the gun" and getting called out, which keeps me from sitting in the corner with the other rule breakers arguing over what day is "Pizza" day in the cafetorium.

DUCK DUCK GOOSE - where being different means your better haul ass

I think every one knows what DUCK DUCK GOOSE is. You sit in a giant circle (far away from the smelly kid who has swimmer ear and smells like nasty pond water), and you sit INDIAN STYLE. Not Criss Cross Applesauce or what ever they teach kids these days. After the HUGE screwing the white man put on the Native Americans, at least we could do is name a sitting position after them. One kid walks around the circle patting the other kids on the head. As he or she did this she would say "DUCK, DUCK, DUCK' until he or she chose one kid and called them "GOOSE" simultaneously SLAPPING THE SHIT OUT THEM, hoping it would cause temporary paralysis or memory loss. The "GOOSE" now has to chase that over zealous slapping prick around the circle 1 complete time. The head slapping bastahad then tries to get to the original seating position before getting tagged by the GOOSE. On a side note, instant replay would have rocked in this game, because my winning percentage would have gone up about .400 or so.

Again, my speed was an issue here. I have alway said I was not built for speed. So, I had to use other things. Since there was no set pattern, I had to expoit different ways to win this game.

a.The head slapper usually slowed down before selecting the goose. Think about it, every game you every round of this game you have ever played, the slaphole would slow up for a second to decide whether or not they would actaully knock the next kid silly. I was usually half up as I got my goose slap.

b. Running in a circle, there is centrifugal force. Now, I didn't know the exact words used to decribe it at 7 years old. But I related it to being on a merry go round. The faster you went the harder it was to stay in the middle and hold on. So I tried to stay as close to the circle without stepping one of my class mates and catch the amnesia causing punk.

Again, did I always win NO. But I increased my chances by using my strengths and exploiting the others kids idiosyncrasies.

There real life applications is this is simple. It helped me learn how to read people and the quickest way around a circle is tighter to the middle. The latter is weak but it works.

It may seem like a feeble point, however, these few competitive games taught me that I didn't win and just by showing up. A fact of life that I have used from playing little league, marching drum corps, cards, games, softball, and WORK. Knowing that I have to stay sharp at work and compete to be good and stay good. Or interviewing for a new position I know to use my strengths to over compensate for me weaknesses. And if I don't get the promotions I know that there are other jobs, positions or what not, than I have to re group and fight until I get what I want. School have pretty much eliminated these games, and the parents allowed it. THIS SUCKS. Our children are now learning that they do not have to try and compete in order to be successful. A sad trend that is allowing our country to fall behind in education, sports and work in general.

So, toughen up your kids....MAKE THEM LOSE. Then, when the crying and whining finally stops, put down the booze that you use to get through the whining and crying and teach your kids how to be better. Work with them on what ever they need the help on. Teach them to strive to be number one, and that the only way to get ahead in life is too kick some ass and take some names.

Well time to goto work, where I may not be the best at what I do now, but, I will be......

Shaun